Divorce - It Happens! Mindfulness Practice For Going Through Divorce

It's important to find ways to reduce the pain and confusion of divorce (but overeating isn't the healthiest option!) When I provide divorce coaching as a personal life coach, I help you find the best ways for going through divorce, and creating a new life after divorce. With divorce coaching and mindfulness practice, you are better able to manage stress, communicate more effectively, make clear and wise plans for your future, and create a healthy and meaningful new life. Divorce coaching focuses on helping you build self-confidence for making good decisions and taking positive actions for your life.

One of the ways that you might try to ease the pain is through emotional eating. There is the tendency for some people to use food for comfort, which is called emotional eating. Emotional eating can be triggered by the stress of going through divorce, or by the stress of grieving your losses, or worrying about your children. For some people, an email from their ex-spouse can prompt an ice cream binge. The mindfulness practice of mindful eating is very helpful to curb emotional eating. That, combined with other mindfulness practice has the benefit of calming the nervous system.

If you are reading this, perhaps you are going through divorce, or are recently divorced. The divorce journey is usually very stressful to say the least! Just the legal process alone can be overwhelming. But it's the emotional upset and drain that can be the most difficult to manage. There are so many important decisions to make that will impact your family, and it's hard to make them alone. Or you might have the opposite difficulty with too many well-meaning friends sharing different advice.

Another challenge that is sometimes associated with the stress of divorce is a nagging insecurity about appearance. Thoughts like, "Can I attract a new lover?" or "Am I too old to date?", can wear away at your self esteem. This can often become most pronounced when considering beginning a new relationship after divorce. By being mindful of your thoughts, you can choose not to believe everything you think. Thoughts related to negative body image can be noticed and released, while turning your attention back to the present moment, to your breath, or to what is right in front of you. And it helps to remember that body image is just that - an image - as in imaginary. An image is not the real you. Starting over after divorce gives you the opportunity to discover and express your real self - the wonderful, authentic and beautiful you.

As a personal life coach offering divorce coaching, it continues to be my intention, aspiration, and passion to improve the conditions and impacts of divorce for all involved. Thank you for sharing this information with anyone you feel may benefit.

Peace Talks is a collaborative divorce mediation firm that helps spouses file for a divorce in a sane and sensible manner.    Peace Talks provides divorce mediation services in Los Angeles and throughout California.   We have family law attorneys, family therapists and financial consultants who can help you. 

Child Support - How Is It Calculated and How Will I Get It?

The issue of child support is always a part of any divorce case or mediation. The amount of child support you will pay is explained and determined according to the California Family Law Code. In order to ensure that California law conforms to the federal regulations for guideline child support, a complicated formula has been devised which looks mainly at two factors: each parent’s income and the time spent by each parent with the child/children. There are other additional factors which may impact the child support payment such as child care expenses, home mortgage payments, tax filing status and other costs specific to your family situation.

These numbers are inserted into a computer program called a Disso Master to calculate your child support payment. The determined amount is the minimum level of child support for each of your children that a judge will require you to pay. This computer calculation provides uniformity to child support across California.

It is important to know that during mediation at Peace Talks, a DissoMaster figure may be discussed; however, mediation results in a negotiated agreement between both parties. Thus, you and your partner may arrive at a child support figure that perhaps differs from the DissoMaster calculation, but can be acceptable to you based on facts specific to your family’s needs.

The principles behind the child support statutes are based on the belief that parents’ first and principal obligation is to support their children according to the parents’ situation and economic position in life. In translation, this means that children of a television celebrity may receive thousands of dollars of child support a month in consideration of their life style, which may include private schools and specialized lessons. In contrast, the children of two schoolteachers who attend public school could conceivably be awarded much less money in support.

Additionally, it is important to know that both parents are mutually responsible for the support their children. Furthermore, you should keep in mind that child support continues until your child is 18 years old or if your child is a full-time high school student and not self -supporting, your child support is extended until the child is 19 years old or completes 12^th grade.

Additionally, the basic child support guideline amount may be increased by “add-ons”. These are specific expenses that parents may be ordered to contribute for the benefit of their children. Family Code Section 4062 lists two types of child support add-ons: mandatory and discretionary. The mandatory add-ons which the judge is required to order include child care costs related to the employment or to the reasonable necessary education of training for employment skills; and for the reasonable uninsured health care costs for the children. Discretionary add-ons include costs related to the educational or other special needs of the children and potential travel expenses for visitation. Both parents share these additional expenses equally unless this is not reasonable and then they are apportioned based on each person’s net spendable income.

There is a formula that the court uses to determine the parents’ respective net spendable income for the purposes of determining child support add-ons. Family Code Section §4061(b) provides that first the guideline child support amount is calculated. Then the amount of the guideline child support is deducted from the income of the paying parent, but not added to the income of the receiving parent. Finally, if one parent is paying spousal support, the amount of the spousal support is deducted from the income of the paying parent and added to the income of the receiving parent.

All of the above child support criteria are rules that are applied to a case that is in litigation. During a Peace Talks’ mediation all facets of support for your children are discussed and taking care of them both financially and emotionally are our key concerns. We will work with you to find a child support figure that fits for your family.

Peace Talks is a collaborative divorce mediation firm that helps spouses file for a divorce in a sane and sensible manner. Peace Talks provides divorce mediation services in Los Angeles and throughout California. We have family law attorneys, family therapists and financial consultants who can help you file for a divorce in a way that is less expensive than the courts in Los Angeles and California. Visit www.peace-talks.com to learn more about how you can have a peaceful and amicable divorce in Los Angeles.